‘What have we to offer him, who is God and Lord of all, we have one true sacri. . . ‘
This was the song the choir had started as he stepped with his family and friends during the procession, at the thanksgiving mass that Sunday. And as the Priest laid his hands on him, it came hitting him like hailstorms in the Arctic, that very day it went down.
It is over 7 months now and he remembered vividly that night he had come home in the third week drunk as usual. “Daddy, you’re home already” his little daughter had hurried to his arms when he nonchalantly passed her to the room. Seeing this his wife had hurried to the 7 years old girl and picked her up, “Daddy may have had a bad day, why don’t you go to your room, I’ll be there shortly”, she said to the little girl who dropped off her mother’s arms and ran to her room.
Since the birth of her daughter, her husband had not laid with her, he would tell her he had a long day, or take charge of a company’s trip, or sometimes be transferred to one state or the other, she had cried herself to sleep for years but not this year, at least not for this December. She was worried at first when he came home the first day so drunk that she almost felt maybe he shouldnt sleep in the bedroom with her, but that was the night he made her feel like a woman again. It was 11:46pm that Sunday night he kept trying a few keys on the door after he wrongly parked the car on the lawn, then she rushed to the door now wide awake, because she stayed up late waiting for him to return with coffee by her side, and as she opened the door for him, he grabbed her by the waist, pressed his lips on hers, fondled her breasts, he struggled with her night gown and ended up tearing it. Deep in her mind a lot of questions were running through her mind but this was the answer she couldn’t imagine. He would not talk but throw her on the sofa and as he put himself inside her, she felt glorious and couldn’t believe what passion she had missed in all these years. That night was the first in 7 years, that night was her rigorous love making night.
This had continued for over three weeks now and she wasn’t complaining or asking questions, “Why was he always drunk? What was depressing her husband?” For most of the times she loved what phase her life had entered and surely this night was gonna be one of those nights, little did she know this wasn’t her night.
“Honey, you’re home early, how was work?” But he didn’t talk, he had sat beside the bed and was facing the wall. She hurriedly pulled her clothes as the door stood locked only but to her silhouette was a noise from the reflecting light on the wall as she made her way to the ‘drinking mad man’ using the bed, when she heard him sobbing, subconsciously she felt naked like she was in Eden after eating the forbidden fruit as she covered her pubic and breasts with her hands. “Are you crying? What’s wrong? Where you fired?” Questions she should have asked the first day he came home not himself, little did she know that now seems to be late.
“I’ve been married to you for 10 years now, with no problem whatsoever, I’ve shared everything in my life with you, worked myself to make you feel comfortable, built this house, suffered with you under this same roof and the least you could have done to me, is to have a child I am not the father to”. Shocked now, the woman sunk in despair as her mind asked herself the questions that wrote themselves in trickling sweat above her forehead, nauseated already, her heart began beating rapidly she could hear her head pound, all she wondered was how he found out, she didn’t even realize she was naked now, she was feeling heat and cold at the same time, and the rest of the words that came out of her husband’s lips sounded like mumbling of a toddler as her mind raced through time and lost in confusion, she only saw him leaving.
Next thing he woke up feeling pains all around his body, where was he that it was so bright, he hardly could remember anybody his eyes had managed to scribble images to his head and then next thing he heard was “If you can hear me sir, raise your arm please. If you can hear me sir, please move your legs”. What happened he had no recollection, but ever since then the man who was beside him explained to him he tried to kill himself in a car accident and had now damages affecting his brain, “it may take a whike for you to recollect anything from yur past or anyone” the man had said, but he introduced him to a woman and a little girl saying there were his family. And later on, an elderly man and woman came in as well and both called him “Son”. All of these were strange to him since then.
And now, as he bowed his head, he felt that sharp pain again and all of these came flushing in his head like a volcanic eruption, he began to sweat and his eyes began to hurt him, and as he struggled with his mind he didn’t know if he would win, but he definitely didn’t want to loose. Suddenly he felt chilled breeze blowing, it suddenly felt like it was all over, he opened his eyes, the church was still, choirsters were concentrating on him, the whole church was, the Priest too. Then he whispered “I – – – – remember now, I remember all.” And looking down now, he saw the little girl holding his hands tight, and he still whispered “I remember, she’s not my daughter”.