She did not know if sunsets existed there, or rain, or rainbows, she didn’t know if she was ever going to find laughter or joy, because the pain that lingered in her heart kept piercing like the relief in her hands. She had done a lot of things that the sands on the shores of life have soon covered over time, but this particular one, this one, that was her.

Her brother would grow in a happy home she thinks, even if it’s not the home with his biological parents and she doesn’t know if she would ever see him again. Her mum always told her, “keep your brother close to you always”, she had forgotten what it meant literally and had decided to keep him close, at least to her he was close.

She was ducked into the van; it looked dark inside even with the little light rays that was distracted by the surrounding trees. And as the black van started, she dozed off. She quickly went back to school where she had just heard the closing bell danced in tintinnabulation to the hands of the time keeper and she gathered the papers from the dustbin, and rehearsed it again.

Back at home her drunken dad lay tired on the couch; she was just 11 for heaven sake not sure if she could continue like this. She locked the door, remove the papers from her bag, fetched kerosene from the kitchen and sprinkled on the curtains, picked her blanket soaked it in water, took her 4 years old brother lit the room and covered them with the blanket, and as she laid underneath the wet blanket, she prayed for the every night her Dad would creep into her room and rape her since she when she turned 7 to burn with the room.



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